Shalom at Home(School)

The Struggle Brings Strength
by Carissa Shillito

Sometimes the best teachers are the ones that had to struggle to understand the concept they're explaining. If that's the case, I should be awesome at offering homeschooling advice. I often feel frustrated and even defeated, and I honestly believe, "If I can homeschool, then you can too."  I've learned as much about what doesn't work as what does and that the benefits far outweigh the challenges. Being new to homeschool-–as a teacher and a student--will bring struggles. But struggle is what creates strength.

Get Ready...

Realistic Expectations: Give yourself and your kids lots of time and grace to adjust to the new school setting. Set your expectations lower than you want to, especially if you’re working your normal job from home AND homeschooling. Give yourself permission to start small and work your way towards your goals. It could take your family up to six weeks to establish a new routine. Hey, just in time for summer! (; ​

​Prepare for Patience: It will be the hardest part of school at home, but teachers and kids are both students of patience. When I yell, “STOP YELLING!” I have to show humility, apologize and admit I’m learning the same things our boys are. Schooling at home is an opportunity to strengthen character (the whole family's!), which is equally as important as scholastic skills.

---

Get Set...

Even the van can be a classroom!

Game Plan: Whether you are structured or not, having a plan makes the day run more smoothly. Before the team assembles for the day, jot down a list of schoolwork, chores, and meal ideas in a basic outline for the day. Both you and the kids will benefit from knowing what to expect. Try not to make changes in mid-air; instead adjust the schedule after school or at the end of the week. Sometimes good ideas just take a while to work.
​
Set-Up: Homeschool won’t look like public school, and each family will do it differently. You don’t need a homeschool room—the kitchen table will suffice—but a separate workspace for each child is helpful. Instruct kids to work independently, saving their questions for you during a one-on-one time, which works great in a separate room where you two can focus.​

---

Go!

Tough Stuff 1st: Tackle the hardest subjects first when kids (and you) are freshest. Save a good book to read aloud at the end of the day. We get our sit-down bookwork done before lunch, then take an outside recess and have lunch. We finish up our day with an hour of a group-study subject like science, history or art and then get comfy for our read-aloud. Our boys love to draw or color while being read to, and it helps them stay focused and interested. 

Keep ‘Em Busy: The MORE independent work each student can do, and the LEAST amount of time with nothing to do, the BETTER. Assign each child specific activities to do once they're done with their work or are waiting on you. Educational videos and audio books (with headphones), instructional drawing books, intricate coloring pages, high-numbered connect the dot’s, and puzzles are all good options. 
 
"Quiet and Calm": Loud and rowdy is great for outside, and that comes once schoolwork is finished. Wiggling, tapping, rocking in chairs, and reading upside down is typical and OK as long as it's not distracting to those of us who, say, have a low threshold for annoying, repetitive sounds and behaviors. (: 

Littles: One of the hardest parts of homeschooling is to keep young children content and out of trouble. Start your day by doing their “school” first. Make them feel seen, heard and important. Read stories together, do puzzles or counting games, write letters and numbers or just scribble colors. Then assign or let them choose their “big kid work” for the rest of the morning, and even draw out a picture of their routine. Set a timer for at least 15 minutes at each station, but allow them as much time as possible! Create sensory bins with rice or waterbeads. Fill the sink with water and scoopers, or pull out the Play-Doh and kinetic sand. Expect a mess, but the payoff of uninterrupted teaching time is well worth it. Coloring books, dry-erase boards and markers also work well. Add appeal by saving these special activities for school days only. Assign your older kids “brother time” or “sister time” as part of their school day to read or play games with their younger sibling. Each Big and Little gets a piece of chocolate as a reward for working well together. (No joke, our older boys request to help their younger brother because of the chocolate!) After a recess and lunch, give Littles some more attention and then a nap or an hour-long quiet time listening to music, looking at books or watching a favorite video. ​

---

Tips, Tricks, and Treats!

Social Media Distancing: Quarantine your phone to a different room or silence the ringer once school starts. Make a list throughout the day of to-do’s, things to research, people to contact, and tackle it all during a break or once school is over. Homeschool can be boring and tedious, and it’s tempting to escape online, but the reward of staying off the phone is finishing school earlier with less frustration.

Best of the Worst: When assigning schoolwork or chores you know your child will resist, give them options: the one you want them to do and one that's worse! This also works on weekends and breaks when people are bored or fussy. Schoolwork and chores are always available for people with bad attitudes who can't find things to do.

Incentives: Just like incentives motivate us adults to do a good job (a paycheck, a clean house for company), a small treat can encourage kids to complete schoolwork or chores. Pay the kids in chocolate chips to get the kitchen “mom-clean” after lunch or to help their sibling with seatwork or piano practice. (Can you tell someone likes to have chocolate around? I haven't even mentioned mom-motivation!) Ask teacher friends for great incentive ideas for motivating students.

Home Care

The house gets awfully messy when so many people spend so much time together in one confined space. When doubling as a classroom, cafeteria, and science lab, physical and relational messes are sure to ensue. As the over-seer, you can get frustrated, or you can get smart! Homeschooling provides the time and space to teach practical skills, interpersonal skills and responsibility. 

Do you see someone INSIDE the dryer? Kids are creative at everything!

Home Work: Laundry, cooking, cleaning, pet care, small repairs, and trash collection all count as classwork. Plunging toilets gets bonus points. Take time to teach these skills and don’t expect your kids to know how to do them the first time. (Or the 100th time.) 

Make Peace: Expect arguing, messing around, and pestering amongst "schoolmates," and have a plan for teachable moments on cooperation. The sheer amount of time you spend with your kids increases the probability of you losing your cool too! With the right mindset, these are not disruptions but opportunities to teach and practice asking and receiving forgiveness. Life skills are as valuable to teach as bookwork. 

---

Self Care

Make Exercise Routine: Work a work-out into the school day, and just know your kids will hijack it. Read lessons aloud while biking, stretching, doing leg-lifts, or core work. Exercise equipment doubles as an exciting source of imaginative play, which I should say is “awesome!” but usually I’m more annoyed that they’re messing with my stuff. I think of our homeschooling day like exercise: super rewarding, but glad when it’s over. 

(Not) To-Do List: You can’t do everything. Make a list of what you’d like to accomplish in order of importance, but don’t stress to do it all. There's always tomorrow.
 
Make Your Get-Away: You may need to get creative with the location, but have some alone time to recoup. 

---

Streamline

I checked out four books on being too busy and have been too busy to read them! The library being closed is actually giving me the "margin" to read them.

Easy Meals: Eggs and whole-grain bread or PBJ sandwiches make for a fast, inexpensive breakfast that will keep people full till lunch. Warm up last night’s leftovers for the mid-day meal, or have your kids make their own sandwiches. Prepare easy suppers of a protein, grain and frozen veggie, and bonus points for starting the crockpot in the morning. Streamline mealtime by eating together and cleaning up right afterwards. 
​​
Simplify: Organizing and de-cluttering benefit our physical and mental spaces. When frustrated by situations you can’t control—like the kids not understanding fractions—undertake tasks that are within your control. Like making the fridge clean and sparkly. 
​
Margin: We are all busy people, but it's unhealthy to not have any "space that exists between our loads and our limits" (Richard A. Swenson, M.D., Margin). While activities have been cancelled and we have more time at home, consider ways to build in margin for when life threatens to get too busy again.
​

---

Spiritual Strength

He's Your Biggest Follower: And He's not online. Before you look at your phone in the morning, chat with the One whose “like” matters the most. Praying, journaling, and reading the Bible help keep the big picture in focus. If you have little kids, it’s near impossible to find a quiet minute alone, so perhaps listen to a passage on a Bible app.
 
Stop, Drop, and Pray: A simple, humble prayer asking God to "HELP!" during your school day eases tense moments and shows our kids we are on the same team. We all need a Savior, and homeschooling does a stellar job revealing that! Your prayer can be to yourself or for everyone to hear. Personally, I think the loud ones have a better effect. 
 
Long Days: I memorized this verse when I started homeschooling, and I still pray it today: “Show me your ways, O Lord. Teach me your path. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long” (Psalm 25:4-5, NIV). On some homeschooling days, my hope is in Him literally…all…day…long. His answer to Psalm 25 comes in Psalm 32:8. “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” 
 
Strength in Weakness:As you jump into homeschooling, remember that the struggle brings strength. Feeling incapable and frustrated is normal and shows us that we need help. And that's good news! (It's actually the gospel.) God created our kids and wants them to succeed more than we do; He will direct our path. I still struggle to homeschool, but I’m stronger in my dependence on God, and I finally understand seventh-grade math! Peace to you and your family during this homeschooling endeavor.